Today ain't my day

guess today might not be my day some people just don't get it.................guess they will eventually tired of feeling like this either I am mad at you or you have hurt my feelings stop asking me what is wrong or sulking around like I did something. You create your own destiny I have no decision in it. I am tired of having people take the air out of mine while I desperately try to help them. Maybe I am being selfish and that is probably not the outlook I should have but I am done with putting me on the back burner so everyone around me feels good. Tired of drowning because I am to busy pushing others up, tired of always doing the right thing to make someone happy and them just blatantly not caring, or worse to have them shove it in my face. Maybe I am just tired I feel abandoned alone and neglected. Guess this is how satan is going to take it all away, I am praying and fighting but to be honest I don't know why anymore. To be told I am not doing something right or not to the standards that would be preferred  Thanks for making me feel more like a failure then I already do thanks for pointing out all the places I need to improve on. It's sad when I get more approval at work, a place that by all means has hated me for two years. Maybe I am just in a weird twilight zone, where my manager likes me and everyone at home makes me feel like shit. Maybe my day just started off wrong, had different plans/hopes guess those got changed and it made me feel very inferior, unwanted, used, and just hurt. I know these plans were not written in stone but seriously does it have to hurt this bad? Gonna continue to hurt today as my daughter goes back, to her other mom ya that is what she calls her mom. four years later and that one still hurts pretty bad most days I just deal with it today I guess it just tops the cake. Guess I could wrap this sob fest up and put on my big girl panties and carry on. Can't wait till Monday I am going to talk to someone and my whole life could change :) until then ~always~Sarah~