how I feel...

I want to start by saying this has been a long time coming but honestly I give up. I try to make everyone happy just got informed apparently I have had an attitude and attack people all day. Well lets see I get woke up at the butt crack of dawn to some whiny voice that sounds like a child and is a grown man and then i am supposed to be nice and all full of daisies and mother fucking sunshine. My bad I didn't know this I am sorry I will work on it, pfft. I don't like writing when I am angry but tonight is a special treat. My so called friends go behind my back to ask my fiance what is with my attitude??? Why are you asking him your my mother fucking friend you don't feel comfortable talking/texting/emailing/fb me but cool go talk to him.  He doesn't get it nobody really does, i heard it put like this once, we live in a world where everyone wants to be noticed famous but nobody really is. I just want someone to notice I am alive. HELLO WORLD I EXIST!!! Say what you want but really no body notices others they might for a minute but that is about it. I wanted to find someone who really cares but that is impossible pipe dream, people only care about themselves or what you can do for them. I have a great adoptive family that actually has never used me as far as I know of, shouldn't I be used to this by now? My attitude is solely dependent on others if they are nice I am nice. Attitude fuck you i have an attitude because I am a mom I don't need to date a child. Guess I am going to sum this up make it short and sweet, tomorrow I will be 31 happy birthday to me. As I make my wish and blow out the candles one last time I will believe wishes really do come true and life really isn't that bad. Reality is that I see something I want so close yet so far away and my attitude is directed by you. Maybe just maybe instead of asking what is wrong really look at me see past all the bull shit to me who I really am, or risk never seeing me and losing me for good. Goodnight until next time ~Sarah~